7x7 Post #5: Ranting About Ranting and Other Fun Tales

I came across this article yesterday. "Why do parents make parenting sound so God-awful?" is the subtitle. The author, a childless woman living in New Hampshire, makes a case against the "honesty" that has become popular on the Internet and in advertising. She cites several blog posts of well known mommy bloggers as well as this listicle as being responsible for making her "terrified" of having kids. Her Facebook feed "goes wild for this stuff" and her friends all agree with it, share it, and spread it around the universe like the deadly virus it clearly is.

I attempted to read it with an open mind. I don't think the article is intentionally offensive (more of a feel sorry for me tone), but for some reason I felt the need to defend myself. I don't really enjoy being lumped into a "pissed parent genre", even if I agree 100 percent with their "motto".

' "[A]s crazy as things get, I wouldn’t trade it for anything." '

On the connotations of all this horrifying parental babble, the article states:

7x7 Post #4: Running Out of Things To Say

Sooo ... day four of the 7x7 challenge is upon us. I find myself staring at the computer screen thinking there is no way I'm going to be able to write three more posts. I'm pretty sure I'm losing the ability to string words into cohesive sentences.

T, however, could probably out-talk a filibustering congressman. G, too, although she mostly sounds like a character from the Sims (or a filibustering congressman).

It may be cheating a little bit, but I'M DESPERATE HERE. I've been recording some of T and G's "conversations" and weird sayings lately via Facebook updates, so I thought I'd share them. Apologies to my FB friends for regurgitating information, but like I said, I'M DESPERATE HERE.

7x7 Post #3: Keepsake Boxes

Hello peeps,

I'm switching gears a bit today to show you a *drum roll, please* completed project! It is quite possibly the only semi-creative thing I've done in the past eight weeks (besides, you know, bringing a human being into the universe).

Behold, keepsake boxes!

A thousand pardons for the photo quality in this post.

7x7 Post #2: Writer's Remorse

I made the mistake of going back through some of my old blog posts a few weeks ago. I don't know if this happens to everyone, but after reading several of them I was just like, "um, wut?"

thanks for this, mom

My inner perfectionist was not feeling it. She really, REALLY wanted me to delete, rewrite, edit, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST DO SOMETHING. "This blog is not perfect!" she screamed. "And people will SEE that it's not perfect and then *gasp* judge you!"

7x7 Post #1: You're a special kind of crazy, aren't you?

Yes, yes I am.

I signed up for this thing. Seven posts in seven days. Today is day one. And since I'm a fan of all things math-y (except you, physics), let us break down why exactly this was a crazy thing to do:

Number of hours in a day: 24
Number spent sleeping: 7ish (definitely NOT consecutively)

Number of children I have: 3
Ages: Almost 3, 18 months and 7 weeks

Indiana Jones and the Cooking for Company Curse

For as long as I can remember, I've had a very serious problem. I can't cook for company. When I was a PK, we hosted missionaries and guest ministers in our home and it was always A BIG DEAL. Mom would generally make some really freaking delicious meals and I, being the only girl and therefore the only one not covered in dirt 99 percent of the time (only like 65 percent), "helped".

Unfortunately, and I don't know if it was due to nerves or just my general leaning toward scatter-brained behavior, whatever I made failed miserably. I made every rookie cooking mistake in the history of mankind. Salt instead of sugar, tablespoons instead of teaspoons, under cooking, overcooking, setting off the smoke alarm (more than once) ... you name it, I did it.

I was soon relegated to head salad maker . And I even messed that up, too.

Oh no, I didn't slice my hand open and bleed on your cucumber slices. That's just salad dressing! <<< this didn't actually happen, but only because we had the dullest knives in the history of knife-dom.

If Indiana Jones had to choose between a pit full of snakes and eating my cooking, he'd pick snakes.

Nah, I'm good. You guys go ahead with that ... salad.

Be Ye Warned

Hullo peeps,

Crazily enough, I actually managed to get a bit of crocheting done a few days ago. I made hats for all the kiddies and I'm trying to decide how to embellish them. Before I can do that, I'm going to have to remake K's.

Why?

Bubble Guppies.

I watched an entire episode in a semi-catatonic state trying to rationalize how there can be an Australia if everything takes place underwater.

Seriously. HOW?

I know. It's ridiculous.