CAKE! Everybody loves cake.

I signed up for a DietBet. Everybody puts $30 in the pot and the people who lose four percent of their body weight in four weeks split it. I was all, "Pshaw, four percent? PIECE OF CAKE TOFU. I SO TOAD-ALLY GOT THIS."

I signed up whilst making a gansta face like dis:

back in the blonde era

And then my body officially went haywire. I've been losing weight steadily, albeit slowly, since Gracie was born. The past two weeks? NUTTIN. Actually, it's more complicated than that, but all the weirdness is headache-inducing, so I shall simply repeat.

NUTTIN.

Friday Funnies

Hi peeps!

It's time for Friday Funnies - The Most Interesting Man Meme Edition.

Big Plans

Hullo peeps,

Back in May 2012, we relocated our fam (which at the time consisted of Grover, Hershey, a one year old T and a burgeoning baby bump ... "burgeoning" is a weird word) to my childhood home. It's a lovely location, the house has good bones and lots of space, and it is a perfect place to raise kids IMHO. I don't have to worry about crime or T getting run over by a moped, there's tons of fresh air, we're a mile from a lake, and there's wildlife (which I fully intend to capture and domesticate). It's paradise.

The problem is, the house was built in the '70s. You know what that means? It was decorated in the '70s.

Easy Crochet Drawstring Bag {POTM}

Hullo fellow hookers!

March's free crochet pattern of the month is this versatile drawstring bag. You can make this as big or as small as you like, make it in multiple colors, use different ribbons, add appliques, et cetera. You can stuff it with candy (EASTER!), toys, treats, craft stuff, live reptiles ...

When I say versatile, I mean it!

Cute, no?

I used a G hook, Red Heart Super Saver yarn in what I believe is Light Blue, and approximately 2.5 feet of  ribbon.

Crazy Brain

Hi peeps,

I made over some built-in bookcases a few days ago (I'll share pictures later) and really, really, REALLY wanted to put a brain in a jar on it. Not a real brain, mind you. That would be gross ... and may require me to murder and dissect someone.

Too messy.

Instead, I crocheted one.









I'm not sure why exactly I wanted a tiny brain in a jar (Grover would probably say one of my other multiple personalities told me I needed it), but something did.

Reflections

It's my birthday today.

I like to take birthdays to reflect, sooo ...

It.

This is how I feel when I get a new follower/friend/repin/FB like/et cetera:

And this is how I feel when I lose one (or when someone doesn't email me back, or when nobody reads a post, or when T wakes up a three a.m.):

Which then leads to deep and intense contemplation (late, late at night) of whatever mysterious quality "it" is that makes people like you.

My milkshake brings all the fat to my thighs ...

Darn right. Makes me wanna cry ...

If you have no idea what the heck I'm sing/typing about, you are SOOOO lucky. Also, don't Google that song unless you want a lot of pics of full frontal nudity ... O.o

I have nine million half-finished projects to share with you, but nothing actually completed. So, let's talk about weight. Hooray. Our favorite subject, right? Here's my personal inflation/deflation story (for reference, I am five foot three).

Help Wanted

HELP WANTED - MOTHER OF SMALL MUNCHKINS

Hourly wages - $0.00

Hours - 24/7

Retirement - none

Vacation - none

Sick leave - none

Maternity leave - none. duh.

Duties include:

Failing like a boss, yo.

Soooo ... I got published. YAY!

And then I opened up the digital magazine this morning and realized I had sent in the wrong kind of file ...

Give me a minute ... *SOB*