Monday, January 22, 2018

It goes so fast.

When you're a new parent, everyone and their parrot will tell you one thing.
"Enjoy it. It goes so fast."
When I was stuck in the nitty gritty of parenting three kids under three, and then four kids four and under, I always felt one of two things upon hearing this:
1) PANIC.

via GIPHY

OH MY GOD, I'M NOT ENJOYING THIS! I don't know WHY I should be enjoying cleaning poop finger paint off the walls, BUT I'M NOT!
CONCLUSION: I AM A FAILURE AS A PARENT.
2) RAGE.

via GIPHY

SO. MUCH. RAGE. I fantasized about punching SO many people. Nice people, terrible people, people I knew and complete strangers. I'm sure the whacked out hormones were part of this, your mileage may vary.
CONCLUSION: My anxiety about screwing up the most important job I've ever had makes me SUPER sensitive.

The thing is, it really, really does go fast, and those of us looking at it from the other side can't help but get all nostalgic and teary and then it just sort of burbles out all over the place at every opportunity. Sorry.
I don't think this gives us an excuse to freak out exhausted parents everywhere, though.
There are beautiful, wonderful, AMAZING highs to parenting and there are TERRIBLE, AWFUL, PROBABLY DISGUSTING lows, too.
It's all part of the package. Parenting comes with the longest Terms of Service you'll ever agree to (without reading first, of course. Apple probably owns all our kidneys, amiright?)
I want you to know this: it is 100 percent okay if you don't fall in love with every single second. Scream and rage and fantasize about punching people in the nose if that makes you feel better. Just do what you need to do to survive ... and stay out of prison.
Now that I've more or less reached the end of the baby stage at my house, I'm going to try to replace my urge to word vomit "Enjoy it. It goes so fast" with a much less terrifying, "YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB! *solidarity fist bump*."
In a couple years, I'll have a hot cup of tea and a box of tissues ready and we can sob over ALL THE FACEBOOK MEMORIES together.
For reals though. 😭😭😭😭😭







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