Hello and welcome to Lesson Three of What Not to Wear!
Today we're going to talk about something you should have been doing since preschool. No, it's not eating Play Doh or huffing school glue. It's something much less fun - putting real clothes on.
Because nobody wants to be surprised bra-less and makeup-less in their bright yellow Spongebob Squarepants jammies with an Einstein-inspired 'do.
I DON'T CARE IF IT'S JUST THE MAILMAN. IT MATTERS.
When someone looks at you like you're going to whip out a switchblade (okay, more like a plastic butter knife) and slit their throat, it seriously damages your self-esteem.
I'm all for the occasional jammy day, but if you can't manage to get clothes on more than once a month, you're most likely caught in a vicious cycle.
But just how do you get out of your jammies when your munchkin is smashing banana into his eyeball or has decided floor = potty chair or flings an entire tube of toothpaste around the bathroom Jackson Pollock-style?
1) Lay out your clothes before you go to bed
2) Set your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier than normal.
3) As soon as it goes off, get up, put your clothes on, brush your hair and put on makeup (if you wear it).
4) Voila! You're ready to start your day!
If you'd also like to take a shower, gag your children and stuff them in a closet.
Now, put down that plastic butter knife and go get dressed!
Or become a nudist.
Both are completely viable options.