Monday, February 5, 2018


You guys watch the Grammys?

Me neither. (Seriously, though, ask me for a detailed breakdown of the plot of the latest Paw Patrol. I will DELIVER.)

I heard about it, though, for two reasons.

The first was Kesha's performance.

I've never been a Kesha fan. For one, we were so soooooooo not allowed to listen to anything remotely resembling her music during our psycho-Christian days (have I written about this? I should write about this.) I'm pretty sure we would have been handed a "GO DIRECTLY TO HELL. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200" card.

Whatever, at least we were hardcore about SOMETHING.

Secondly, I'm not a huge rap fan. Dr. Seuss is about as rap as I get.

But this song, man. It's been on repeat at my house.

It's written in that perfect key that makes you tear up and the lyrics are fanTASTic.

So that's the first thing Grammy-wise.

The second thing? How the stars were dressed, of course.

But it wasn't the usual best/worst dressed lists, oh no. Those I can handle. If I was getting paid six or eight figures a year, I'd wear literally WHATEVER I wanted. Fuck those guys and their lists.


According to sizzling social media reports (because, don't you know, our opinions are now #FACT since we can post them on the interwebz), the stars were dressed "trashy" and "R-rated" and looked like "porn stars."

And because of that, some argued, they were minimizing the "womens rights" and "equality" movements (snippy quotations marks theirs, y'all.)

Now, at first glance, these comments didn't really bother me all that much (thanksabunch, strict Christian upbringing.)

And then I thought about it. I thought about the hypocrisy of an assault survivor being brave enough to tell her story while the women around her, supporting her, are being criticized for wearing clothing that "asks for it."

I'm only going to say this once.

No matter what you wear (or don't wear) or do (or don't do), you do not deserve to be abused or assaulted.

It's pretty fucking simple. And yet, somehow, a shit ton of us are still going on about how women are "asking for it" because they're wearing something revealing ... or not watching their drink at a party ... or trusting some asshole who will take advantage of them ... or walking down the goddamn street.

This. is. not. right.


So ... what can I do about it? I always come back to this question when I see something in society that makes me want to throat punch ALL OF SOCIETY.

First, and most importantly, I can support survivors.

Second, I can not be an asshole on social media about the lady wearing snow fence and only snow fence as a dress. To each their own, DAMMIT.

Third, you can bet your boat I'm teaching my boys to respect women, and not just the ones wearing "appropriate clothing."

And fourth, you can bet your other boat I'm teaching my daughter that she is not a possession or a plaything for any man, ever.

To all the beautiful, amazing women out there who've lived through the story this song tells, I want to remind you that whatever happened to you is not and never will be your fault.

Keep being amazing. I love you.

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