AHHHHHHHHH.

I am 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant today. I've been feeling like labor is imminent for more than a week now. Aaaaand nothing. T and G were both born at 37 weeks exactly and K was born at 38 weeks, 2 days, so yes, I know I'm a HUGE wimp about the end of pregnancy. I'll freely admit that. I just made it to the "safe zone" Monday and there are still 19 (nine. teen. ... *bursts into tears*) days until my official due date, but I already feel like I'm losing my mind.

I know, rationally, I can't be pregnant forever. I know, rationally, I should try to enjoy this time since this is my last pregnancy and I'll never be in this exact life situation again. I know, rationally, more time in pre-labor means an easier delivery later. And rationally, I know being pregnant and uncomfortable (albeit intensely ragey/weepy/oversensitive) is easier than having a newborn.

Rationally, I know these things.

Unfortunately, I'm not rational right now. Not even five percent of the time. Do I feel guilty about that? Absolutely. A good mommy wouldn't be bitching right now. She'd be thankful and glowy and one with the universe and probably still able to wear real pants. A good mommy wouldn't be constantly yelling at her other children and scream-texting her husband that NO, SHE'S NOT IN F****** LABOR YET.


via GIPHY

But whatever, I'm human. And I figured I should officially record all of the feels (good, bad, but mostly just ugly) because I know I'm actually going to miss this shit in the future and laugh about how ridiculous I acted and look back on pregnancy with fondness and affection.

Because I'm insane. Totally insane.

If I admit it, that makes it okay, though, right?