Friday, August 1, 2014

Facebook, Take Me Away

I'm going to admit something embarrassing. Well ... more embarrassing than the stuff I usually admit.

I'm kind of addicted to social media.

It's a funny twist. I've always thought of it as a "GET AHOLD OF YO' BAD SELF AND DEAL, HOMIE" thing. A geeky, nerdy, socially inept (not that I'm not that, but ... ) sort of problem like mouth breathing and the inability to keep Harry Potter trivia from spewing forth at random inopportune moments (I never do this. Never). Lame!

And here I am. Pretty darn sure I'm addicted (according to several Facebook/Twitter quizzes about whether or not you're addicted ... totally legit). The Buzzfeed one even said it's worse than cigarettes! omg! fail! wtf!

The addiction is not the problem. The reason for it is.

It's escapism, a way for me to be an adult with real thoughts and real feelings that aren't punctuated by demands for, "more milk, MOM". I mean, uh, virtual real thoughts and feelings. It also makes me temporarily forget about the little black rain cloud hovering over my head. Plus, accumulating "likes" makes me feel validated and valued. I matter, you guys! And not just for my mad PB&J making skillz!


I've sort of let it take over. As a totally fictitious *cough cough* example, G might (did) give her bean burrito to the baby and he could (did) devour/gum/tear it to tiny bits all over the living room floor and I wouldn't (didn't) even notice because Facebook!

I felt pretty bad about my horrendous parenting skills (the baby is totally fine and evidently loves burritos) and thought about sharing the whole story on Facebook to get some feedback ... and elicit notifications because hello addict. Then I felt bad about my first thought being Facebook. Then I started Googling Facebook addiction, but then I got a Facebook notification about some fight going down between two total strangers and decided to find a meme that might break the tension ... and then I posted it to Facebook.
I think this is from Cyanide & Happiness, but I'm not sure.
I'm kind of angry for allowing myself to be a tiny cog in a giant money-making machine. And there's SO much other kick-ass stuff I could be doing (like Pinterest-ing! Ha!). The biggest reason to get this under control, however, is the kids. I don't want to look up from my computer/phone screen one day and suddenly have teenagers ambling around my house eating all the food/forgetting to put on deodorant.

Since I have the engineering skills of a three year old (no, seriously), I don't think rigging up my very own Pavlov Poke machine (it makes your computer shock you when it detects certain behaviors) would be wise. I don't want to die. I also don't want to delete my account all together (there are real benefits), so I'm trying this:

Admitting the problem >>> I HAVE A PROBLEM. 

I'm told it helps tremendously.

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