Tuesday, April 23, 2013

That Escalated Quickly

I said I wasn't going to do it.

And I haven't.

Yet.

To what am I referring? Nope, not marijuana.

I am referring to going half out of my mind planning and executing a birthday party for a two-year-old.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Darling Daffodils Crochet Pattern {POTM}


Hullo peeps,

Mother Nature bequeathed 18 inches of snow upon us Monday and Tuesday, which put a damper on anything spring-ish. These happy little flowers will have to tide me over until all this white powder disappears ...

Not THAT kind of white powder ... or that kind, either.

Behold, daffodils!


And here, my friends, is the pattern:

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Make Yourself Make

Impossible.

No way in hell.

I can't.

I suck at it.

Are you kidding me? I can't even get out of my pajamas!

This is my regular/random thought process when I think about sitting down to craft. >>>

>>> Actually, I don't really like the term "craft". It conveys images (for me, anyway) of mommies sitting around a table making topiaries out of hideous floral fabric and their children's saved belly button lint (it's a keepsake, you guys.) and secretly judging each other because your child's belly button lint is definitely the wrong color and OMG you are SUCH a bad mom.

And is that a STAIN on your WRINKLY khaki capri pants? For sooth ... thou art BANISHED. <<<

Okay, I may have a slightly bad attitude about the whole thing. AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE POINT OF THIS POST. Sorry for being so judgy. And I'm not even sure what color my "khakis" used to be, so maybe you have something there ...

Monday, April 1, 2013

Five Tattoos You Wish Were Pranks

Happy April Fool's Day! I told people I'm becoming a professional beet farmer.

... they believed me.

One perk of the beet farming profession? The puns.

BEET IT! BEET IT! OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH AND EAT IT!
Wow. That sounds really inappropriate. Must be 'cuz I'm up late.

Now, on to the show soul-crushing sadness that is humanity!