It.

This is how I feel when I get a new follower/friend/repin/FB like/et cetera:

And this is how I feel when I lose one (or when someone doesn't email me back, or when nobody reads a post, or when T wakes up a three a.m.):

Which then leads to deep and intense contemplation (late, late at night) of whatever mysterious quality "it" is that makes people like you.



And why the heck I don't have it.

It's a problem of mine, wanting everyone to like me (REALLY LIKE ME). My brain knows it doesn't matter in the slightest, but some part of me still craves acceptance, fame, fortune, chocolate, et cetera. It's weird. The people that matter love me. They accept me. They think I'm cool.

Okay, that is debatable, but still ...

What the junk?

I have no reason to for this low self-esteem other than my own stupid thought processes. They make me bitter and depressed and then I start doing this:

NONE of these reactions are healthy.

Why do I need to constantly remind myself that IT DOESN'T MATTER? Perhaps I need to work on accepting myself. I need to "like" myself. I need to find out what "it" is that makes me like me.

Honestly, I can't think of a single solitary thing right now.

.... ... ...

You're pretty good at eating brownies.

Okay, one thing.

That is IT.