CAKE! Everybody loves cake.

I signed up for a DietBet. Everybody puts $30 in the pot and the people who lose four percent of their body weight in four weeks split it. I was all, "Pshaw, four percent? PIECE OF CAKE TOFU. I SO TOAD-ALLY GOT THIS."

I signed up whilst making a gansta face like dis:

back in the blonde era

And then my body officially went haywire. I've been losing weight steadily, albeit slowly, since Gracie was born. The past two weeks? NUTTIN. Actually, it's more complicated than that, but all the weirdness is headache-inducing, so I shall simply repeat.

NUTTIN.



I can't starve myself because another human is depending on me for sustenance (more complications).

I can't exercise 26 hours a day because, well ... yeah. ALSO, I HAVE A TODDLER.

Do you know how hard it is to get things done when you are constantly listening for suspicious silence and/or screaming?

PLUS, G's getting her first tooth.

PLUS, we started potty training T.

PLUS, I REALLY LIKE EATING, HOOVER DAM IT.

daily thought process
 ... good thing I'm too lazy to bake cake!

... mom told me not to do it.

I suppose the moral of this story is ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.

Why do I have to keep re-learning this lesson?