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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Differences the Second Time Around

In case you missed the announcement, we are expecting bambino number two in September! I've got lots and lots to tell you after 8 weeks of secret-keeping.

There are quite a few differences the second time around. Here's what I've noticed:
Don't forget some kick ants band aids
for your fake paper cuts. 

> You're achier.
I sat down at work around 8 weeks preggo and a random and extremely painful twinge in my rear caused me to yell "YOWCH!" rather loudly.

My coworker: "Are you okay?"
Me: "Yeah, I uh ... just paper cut my neck."

Golden Nugget of Wisdom: To hide a pregnancy, blame everything on paper cuts.

>You forget you're pregnant.

I was hyper-aware of my first pregnancy, especially during the first trimester. I was constantly checking for any signs of ANY thing that could be wrong. Wait, what was that? A weird pain in my heel???

CALL THE DOCTOR, QUICK!

This time around, I've forgotten I'm pregnant several times. The good side is that it's making everything speed by, even the 8 weeks of being sicker than a circus peanut eating elephant. The bad part is that I get in trouble for things like this:

The setting: Husband is sitting in the recliner watching some random action movie on TV. Puffy bloated woman (that's me) walks in and picks up hubby's beer off the end table.

Husband: "Um, what are you doing?"
Me: "Taking a drink. Duh."
Husband: *horrified look*(punctuated by gunfire from the blaring speakers)
Me: "Oh yeah." 
Puffy bloated woman sheepishly sets beer down and exits to kitchen to find some fried chicken and/or chocolate.

End scene

Lest you think me an unfit mother and decide to call child services, I invite you to try waking up four times a night with a screaming, teething 9 month old while trying not to blow chunks all over the opposite wall and we'll see how well your brain functions in the morning.

> You pooch. Excessively.

I was pretty concerned people were going to guess I was preggo due to the seemingly gigantic bump I acquired during the first trimester. Fortunately, people didn't seem to notice. Or if they did, they just though I had consumed a few hundred donuts (or Jimmy Dean sandwiches ... ).

This is what I mean by "excessive pooch".
> You're not so crazy about sharing the news.

To me it seems like there is some type of stigma about getting pregnant again, especially if your kids will be close together. I mean, it's embarrassing the first time around because everyone knows you, you know, do it. Or at least did it once. But if you get pregnant AGAIN, it's kinda like, "Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice ... YOU SEX ADDICT. What is WRONG with you?"

It's a curse.
Okay, okay. I'll go to sex addicts anonymous.
> You forget how far along you are.

See aforementioned note about sleep deprivation ...

"You're pregnant? Oh congrats (you evil sex addict). How far along are you?"
"Uhhh, maybe like 12ish, 14 ... a few months."

I might just be "a few months" along until I have this kid :-)

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Monday, February 27, 2012

DIY Wax Seals for Envelopes and other Pretties

>>> Ze Back Story <<<
 (if you'd rather not listen to me babble, skip down to Ze Instructions)

Two and a half years ago, I was in a wedding planning frenzy. Pretty much everything that came out of my mouth was wedding related. My conversations went kinda like this:

"How are you today?"

"Oh, I'm pondering the difference between ballerina or cotton candy pink ... "

"Did you want fries with that?"

 "I don't know. Will they lead to wedding dress zipper not zipping up DISASTER?!?"

It was pretty bad. But I really enjoyed the process, even if everyone around me did not.

One of my favorite parts was creating wedding invitations. My very talented aunt offered to calligraph (is that a word?) for FREE, so I decided to go all out. There were multiple inserts and ribbons and little golden aspen leaf charms and vellum envelopes and best of all, a gold wax seal on each one And lest you think I was an evil money-eating bridezilla, we only sent out sixty of them. (Our whole wedding was less than $3,000, in fact. Someday I need to write a post about how we managed that.)

Anyway, the task fell to me to search out special gold wax for the seal and a low-heat glue gun (I had no idea those even existed) and the little stamper doohicky. I spent hours searching and finally came across a crafting site (whose name I do not recall) with everything I needed for $50. It was kind of stupid to spend $50 just for wax seals, but my self-induced wedding craziness blinded me to that little bit o' common sense.

I was not as amazingly amazing back then.

When I was creating the melted heart valentine, I had an epiphany. What if I used the same method to create a wax seal on an envelope? I could save another bride (or other crafty person) money! I could help them add a little something extra to those beloved invitations! I just had to try it out, and unlike J Lo's cleavage tape at the Oscars, it WORKED!


>>> Ze Instructions <<<

Materials:
crayons in the color of your choice (they come in every hue, so be specific!)
a candle
matches or a lighter
something to stamp the wax with*

*I used the stamper doohicky left over from my wedding. You can either buy one at a craft store, use a cute stamp, use something random you have around the house like a piece of jewelry, or make a personalized one using this tute.

I recommend practicing this technique first so you don't ruin any of your precious invitations. It truly is so easy a caveman could do it, but it's better to be safe than sorry!

1.Gather your materials. I recommend sealing your beloved invitations the old fashioned way first (lick 'em and stick 'em) just in case of any rough handling by the P.O.

2. Light your candle. (If you are like me, you may yell, "BEHOLD, I GIVE YOU FI-YAH!" a la Sid from Ice Age. Or not.)

3. Tear the paper off your crayon. Hold the now-nekkid crayon about an inch from the candle flame until it gets all melty.

4. Quickly position the crayon over your envelope and let the wax drip into a nice puddle in the proper place. If it's not dripping enough, you can roll the end of the crayon around on the envelope to get more wax to stick. Also, I found it easiest to move the envelope to the crayon instead of vice versa.

5. Stamp the wax puddle with your stamper doohicky or other item.

Voila! A DIY wax sealed envelope!






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Saturday, February 25, 2012

Karma's a B ... ad Word

I should have known when I said, "Hooray, I'm not super fat anymore!", karma would sneak up and karate chop me.

Right. in. the. face.

It did. In a good slash exciting slash scary slash oh my word what are we going to do sort of way.

Anyone wanna guess what we found out January 2?

Yep.

(source)
Unexpected expecting is kinda how we roll.

It's more fun that way.
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Thursday, February 16, 2012

It's Broooken, Cap'n!

Hiya!

I am (finally) organizing my Photobucket albums, so some of my photos aren't going to show up. I will try to fix the broken links as quickly as possible. Please bear with me until that happens!

this is not a grasshoppa ... this is richard simmons reincarnated as a bug
Gracias, grasshoppa!

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

So there I was ...

On Pinterest ... again.

Hoover dam you, Pinterest.

"You make me feellll, you make me feellll, you make me feel like a sleep-deprived moronnn."

And then I write stuff like that ...

Whilst you are feasting your eyes on the genius of others, remember this:

(source)
So very true.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Day 14 ~ Happy Valentine's Day! {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}


14 Days of Fluffy Stuff is officially over! Hooray! 

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! In other words,
happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary,
manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day.

It may be true, but I got chocolate and steak. 

I ain't complainin' :-)
Grab a badge:




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Monday, February 13, 2012

Day 13 ~ Fluffy Fashion: Update a Bracelet {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}


Hola!

Today we are going to spruce up a bracelet in less than 30 seconds. You'll need a chunky bangle and a square scarf. Here's whatcha do:



1. Grab your materials.
2. Fold your scarf in half so you have a triangle.
3. Roll it up (like you would for a blindfold)
4. Thread the bangle onto the scarf and center it.
5. Wrap each end around the bangle.
6. Tie it, then twist the scarf around the bangle so your knot is on the inside.

All done!


It's fluffy!
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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Day 12 ~ Melted Crayon Valentine {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}


Hallooo!

I have a last minute Valentine idea for all you slackers. It's insanely easy and insanely cheesy. But that's okay!


The best part was my house smelled like melted crayons for a few hours. It takes me back to the time my brothers and I stuck crayons in the baseboard heater. Ah, those were the days.

You will need:
crayons
a candle
matches
paper
toothpicks

And here's the super simple process:


1. Draw a heart outline.
2. Remove the paper from the end of the crayon (you know, so you don't light something on fire ... not that I'm speaking from experience or anything ...)
3. Get the end of the crayon all melty over a candle. It melts surprisingly fast, so be quick!
4. Fill in your heart outline with the meltiness. You might need to reheat your crayon a few times.
5. Once the wax has dried, add a fluffy saying. I went with, "You melt my heart" cuz of the whole melty thing. You could also do, "I love you" or "XOXO" or even, "I really wish you would put your freaking socks in the hamper".

I also made this melted crayon art using the same process:



It's melty and rainbow-y and fluffy-y! Hooray!
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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Day 11 ~ Valentine's Day Manicures {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}


Hooray for the weekend! Hopefully you're doing something fun!

If you get a minute or fifteen, try one of these pretty Valentine's Day manis:

chevron heart nails ... totally brill (source)
matte conversation hearts nails ... (source)
Sally Hansen Salon Effects "Love Letter" mani (source)
how to create a heart with a toothpick! (source)
And for those of you not so fond of V-Day, here's an anti-Valentine's Day mani idea:

broken heart crackle mani (source)
Have a very fluffy weekend!
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Friday, February 10, 2012

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's ORGANIZATION!

So remember way back when I said I was going to add navigation to this site? I finally did it! On the right, ladies and gentlemen, we officially have organization! I may add more categories later, but for now we have:







Amazingly enough, all 97 of my insanely random posts fit into one or more of these categories. 

Maybe I'm not as random as I thought ...

GIGANTIC PURPLE POLKA DOTTED ELEPHANTS EATING SWISS CHEESE!

Okay, never mind.
Hope you enjoy!

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Day 10 ~ Winnie the Pooh {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}


Whilst locating yesterday's video clip, I came across the Winnie the Pooh theme song on YouTube. 


Who better for Day 10 than Pooh!? Being stuffed with fluff and all, I figure he's an expert on the current subject and deserves at least a mention. I remember listening to this song and singing it with my brothers. Yes, the weird scary brother, too :-)

I also found this fun personality test for determining which Pooh character you most resemble. Keyword: FUN. Don't get all freaked out if you're Eeyore, okay?

Anyone wanna guess what I got?
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Thursday, February 9, 2012

New Name!

Hiya peeps,

I am officially official! I am proud to announce {walker whimsy} has its own domain name! Hooray!

I am freakishly excited about this and I'm not sure why ... I could randomly burst into song at any moment.

randomly bursting into a song that makes no sense?
check.
Anyhoo, the new site address is http://www.walkerwhimsy.com. WOO!! You can change your bookmarks if you so desire, but the old domain should redirect here (hopefully).

Are you excited? I am SO excited. I might even do a backflip or something.

Actually, I would probably die if I attempted that. I'll just stick to the usual celebration ritual of a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

Hooray!

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Day 9 ~ A Video Clip {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}


Hey peeps,

It's fluffy Day 9 of 14 and I'm feeling kinda like this ...


How 'bout you?
Grab a badge.
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Day 8 ~ Five Fluffy Desktop Backgrounds {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}


Hola!

Today we have some fluff for your desktop. Hooray!







And a bonus :-)


I found all these on Tumblr and I don't claim any of them as mine. If you are the owner of any of these 
photos, please let me know.

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