Monday, November 12, 2012

"It's on my to-do list" and random binder jokes

I am a big list maker. I have binders full of lists ... okay, they're notebooks.

Here forth commences binder jokes gathered from the Internets JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE FUNNY.

I'm not trying to make a political statement. The election is over. That's why I waited to post these. So just chill, okay? Unclench your jaw muscles ... and other muscles. Breath. If you really can't handle it, use the nifty wheel on your mouse and go past it fasterthanspeedygonzalesandothertypesofrodents to the point of this post.

Now ...

The only scene of this movie I truly remember
is the watermelon. I can totally relate to that.
My sentiments exactly.
What does that even mean?
This is probably only funny
because I'm a fan of classical music.
Really, though, I have no idea who this guy is.
too. many. children's. movies.
My favorite. Whoever this photographer
(photoshopper?) was, I salute you.
Now, if you chose to scroll, hi! I still love you. Let's change the subject.

I have to-do lists, to-don't lists, color lists, project lists, lists of words, lists of favorite things. I really, really like lists.

Without my to-do list, I would stay in my pajamas all day and eat ramen noodles and read. That's it. The end.

But I already do that.

Hrmm. Maybe it's not the lists, then.

Even though my beloved lists seem to be rather ineffectual at this point in time, I still make them. I never thought my to-do list would include such things as:

> Fish 19 Hot Wheels cars out of the recycle bin
> Quick! Where's the Hoover DAM ARNICA!
> Hide the spoons
> Remove the sharp objects from the kitchen drawers and put them ... where?
> Find my other shoe
> Find Grover's other shoe
>Find Talen's other shoe
(We have a shoe bandit.)
> Pick up the pencils, Sharpies, highlighters, and pens scattered around the house.
(The shoe bandit has diversified. Be afraid, Papermate. Be very, very afraid.)
> Erase the chalk marks off the refrigerator.
> Find all the binkies (currently 3 out of 12 have been located ... )
> Dig the rotting piece of ... something (what IS that?) out from under the couch cushions.
> Wash the white couch AGAIN. White couch, I hate you.
And always, always
> Find the missing library book

Ah, to-do lists. Without them I would have no idea just how unproductive I am.

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