The Oy-limpics

Have you been watching the Olympics this week? I have. And I have officially decided I will never be an athlete.

This is what would happen to me:

Of course, if pounding chocolate milkshakes, popping out offspring at warp speed, and accidentally super-gluing my fingertips together become Olympics sports, I would totally kick ants.

What Olympic sport do you wish existed so you could win some Snoop Dogg (oops, I mean Snoop Lion ... because that is a much less ridiculous name) worthy bling?

Is it just me, or do the medals seem to be getting bigger?

1988 (Holmes and Redgrave)

2012 (Ryan Lochte)

The future? (President Camacho, Idiocracy)