It's a Great White, Cap'n!

Great white undies, that is.

I'm feeling a little down.

Not because I lost an appendage (or pet guinea pig or a ham sandwich) to a giant shark.

Terrifying. But not as terrifying as the underwear department at Wal-Mart.

Because I had to buy bigger underwear.

They're not specifically "maternity" underwear.

They're just ... big.

I didn't think it would be that bad.

But then I took them out of their neat little package and picked one up.

And it started unrolling and unrolling and unrolling.

*cue Jaws theme song*

And it just kept unrolling ... and unrolling ... and unrolling.

*dunh, dunh, dunh, DUNH, DUNH, DUNH ... "

It's a true story, peeps.