Wednesday, May 30, 2012

You're stranded on a deserted island ...

The scene:

While scuba diving in the Pacific, your oxygen tank gets snagged on the tail of a rainbow-striped whale. Helpless, you are carried along for hundreds of miles.

Okay, maybe five. But still.

When you finally manage to wrangle yourself free, you surface to find you are completely surrounded by water. You have no idea where you are and the only visible land is a tiny speck to the south (or maybe the north ... ). You swim frantically, hoping to reach it before you are eaten by a giant shark or mutant piranhas.  After several hours, you finally make it to the island. It is completely deserted, but there seems to be plenty of fresh water and food.

Also, TiVo.

What is the first thing you do?

A) Scream, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!", then throw yourself down on the beach and cry buckets and buckets of tears.
B) Immediately try to remember every detail you can from Man Versus Wild ... realize all you can recall is the guy pronounces crevices "crev-ASSES" and drinks his own pee.
C) Find a volleyball. Name it Wilson.
D) Take off all your clothes and use them to make a fishing net.
E) Try to spear a monkey through the eyeball with a sharpened stick.
F) Find some fresh running water for drinking, make a shelter, and gather driftwood. Use your emergency stash of matches to light a fire before it gets dark.

If you answered ___,  you are:

A) A drama queen. It's not that bad. There's TiVo, remember?
B) Me
C) Tom Hanks
D) Sunburned in places nobody wants to be sunburned in
E) A moron
F) A better question ... just where were those matches?

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