From a mother to her son

Dear T Dubbs,

1. Please stop using your head as a battering ram.

2. Please stop trying to pee in my mouth when I change your diaper. Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT the baby version of skee ball.

3. Please stop doing alligator death rolls when I try to get you dressed. I would totally let you be a nudist, but that is not socially acceptable.

4. Please stop pulling daddy's armpit hair in the middle of the night (even though it's hilarious ... )

5. Please stop trying to meet all your nutritional needs with dog food.

6. Please stop getting stuck under the table/chair/baby gate. Babies do not have four-wheel drive and reverse only works occasionally.

7. Please stop trying to eat those toilet bolt cover doo-dads. Despite daily bleaching, I'm pretty sure they're not sanitary.

8. Please stop trying to escape from your walker. I don't like coming around the corner to see you dangling perilously by one foot.

9. Please stop stealing the TV remote and hiding it under the bed.

10. Please don't grow up too fast, even if it means you have to keep doing all these weird baby things.

I love you, little baby munchkin :-)

What do you mean, "Crayons are not for eating"? They taste pretty good to me.