Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Differences the Second Time Around

In case you missed the announcement, we are expecting bambino number two in September! I've got lots and lots to tell you after 8 weeks of secret-keeping.

There are quite a few differences the second time around. Here's what I've noticed:
Don't forget some kick ants band aids
for your fake paper cuts. 

> You're achier.
I sat down at work around 8 weeks preggo and a random and extremely painful twinge in my rear caused me to yell "YOWCH!" rather loudly.

My coworker: "Are you okay?"
Me: "Yeah, I uh ... just paper cut my neck."

Golden Nugget of Wisdom: To hide a pregnancy, blame everything on paper cuts.

>You forget you're pregnant.

I was hyper-aware of my first pregnancy, especially during the first trimester. I was constantly checking for any signs of ANY thing that could be wrong. Wait, what was that? A weird pain in my heel???


This time around, I've forgotten I'm pregnant several times. The good side is that it's making everything speed by, even the 8 weeks of being sicker than a circus peanut eating elephant. The bad part is that I get in trouble for things like this:

The setting: Husband is sitting in the recliner watching some random action movie on TV. Puffy bloated woman (that's me) walks in and picks up hubby's beer off the end table.

Husband: "Um, what are you doing?"
Me: "Taking a drink. Duh."
Husband: *horrified look*(punctuated by gunfire from the blaring speakers)
Me: "Oh yeah." 
Puffy bloated woman sheepishly sets beer down and exits to kitchen to find some fried chicken and/or chocolate.

End scene

Lest you think me an unfit mother and decide to call child services, I invite you to try waking up four times a night with a screaming, teething 9 month old while trying not to blow chunks all over the opposite wall and we'll see how well your brain functions in the morning.

> You pooch. Excessively.

I was pretty concerned people were going to guess I was preggo due to the seemingly gigantic bump I acquired during the first trimester. Fortunately, people didn't seem to notice. Or if they did, they just though I had consumed a few hundred donuts (or Jimmy Dean sandwiches ... ).

This is what I mean by "excessive pooch".
> You're not so crazy about sharing the news.

To me it seems like there is some type of stigma about getting pregnant again, especially if your kids will be close together. I mean, it's embarrassing the first time around because everyone knows you, you know, do it. Or at least did it once. But if you get pregnant AGAIN, it's kinda like, "Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice ... YOU SEX ADDICT. What is WRONG with you?"

It's a curse.
Okay, okay. I'll go to sex addicts anonymous.
> You forget how far along you are.

See aforementioned note about sleep deprivation ...

"You're pregnant? Oh congrats (you evil sex addict). How far along are you?"
"Uhhh, maybe like 12ish, 14 ... a few months."

I might just be "a few months" along until I have this kid :-)

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