All I Wanna Do Is EAT CHOCOLATE CAKE

I have PMS. 

Which means I look like this:

See the diabolical smile? The people fleeing in fear? How everything is suddenly and inexplicably PUFT?!?

That pretty much covers it.

I'm going to go eat something smothered in chocolate now. Pretzels. Raisins.

Grasshoppers. Worms.

Cardboard.

If it's got chocolate on it, I'm game.

Just lemme go duct tape a hot water bottle to my stomach real quick.

See you in five.